7 Cheeky Affirmations for Life’s Sh*t Show Moments
Sometimes life isn’t sunshine and rainbows—it’s more like spilled coffee, missed deadlines, and a healthy dose of chaos. For days when you’re caught in the sh*t storm, here are seven cheeky affirmations that combine humor, sass, and a dash of self-love to keep you laughing, confident, and absolutely unbothered.
1. “I was born to be silly and hot, embracing my unique vibe, so leave me alone while I bask in my own radiant energy.”
When things get rough, just remember: you’re here to shine, dance to your own rhythm, and radiate that one-of-a-kind energy. Let the haters watch while you bask in your fabulousness.
2. “I suffer from huge success and a great ass, carrying the weight of greatness in both my achievements and my undeniable physical assets.”
For the days when confidence feels like a full-time job, this affirmation is here to remind you that you’re thriving—and looking good while doing it.
3. “I’m so proud of me for putting in the work when other people told me to sit on my ass and manifest. Wishful thinking isn't for me; I roll up my sleeves and make my own magic.”
Manifesting is great, but you’re here to make things happen. You hustle, grind, and manifest through action—and it’s paying off.
4. “Soon my ‘little hobby’ will take off, and everyone who told me I’d never make it happen will have to scroll through all of my vacation reels from their nasty corporate lunchroom.”
A little reminder for all the doubters in your life: you’re on your way up. When you’re posting beach selfies from the Maldives, they’ll wish they’d believed in your side hustle.
5. “I will achieve my fucking insane dreams, because nothing can stop me when I'm driven by passion, ambition, and a little bit of crazy determination.”
Even the wildest dreams are possible when you’re as motivated (and a little insane) as you are. Keep pushing; nothing can stop you.
6. “Bad days are also part of a hot and sexy life, adding depth and character to my story as I embrace every aspect of my fabulous journey.”
Every bad day is just another colorful chapter in the fabulous novel that is your life. Embrace the messiness—it only makes the story juicier.
7. “Take a nap, queen, because it is so tiring being right all the time and carrying the weight of your brilliance every single day.”
For the days when you’ve been amazing and everyone around you is… not, this is your reminder to rest, recharge, and come back even more fabulous tomorrow.
Bonus: A Few More Cheeky Affirmations
“I’m literally topshelf liquor, premium and unmatched, bringing a taste of sophistication to everything I touch.”
“I will only get hotter and more wealthy, I’m on a path of unstoppable growth and success.”
“Accidentally woke up super cool and sexy today, because sometimes the universe just blesses you with that extra dose of confidence and charm without you even trying.”
These affirmations don’t sugarcoat life or try to fix everything—they’re here to help you laugh, feel empowered, and carry on, even when the going gets tough. Life might be chaotic, but with a sense of humor and a little sass, you’re unstoppable.
